


Old Lady, Science

by neverland0323



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Gen, Humor, Laser Guns, Space Adventure, flying garbage car, old lady science, vengeful aliens, weird spaceship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 14:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4831955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverland0323/pseuds/neverland0323
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember that one time that Rick shot a hole through Morty's hand with a laser gun?  Just right though his hand...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Lady, Science

 

It was a normal adventure, flying garbage car, outer space, weird spaceship, and a vengeful alien race.

"Oh, jeez!" Morty nervously shouted as the aliens gained on them.

"Quick, in here!" Rick dove under a closing hatch. Morty rolled under and watched the hatch seal behind him with a hiss.

"What did you do to them?" Morty panted.

"It's nothing! They are totally over reacting." The loud explosions of laser guns roared from the other side of the blast door.

"Well they seem pretty angry."

Rick hot-wired the next hatch and it began to open.

 "Like I said, over dramatic."

The door opened about a foot.

"Come on, Morty!" Rick crawled under the door and Morty quickly followed.

A loud explosion, followed by a wave of flames that spewed through the crack in the door, shook the ship.

The flame wave nipped at Morty's pants, nearly setting him on fire. He was quick to swat at the back of his jeans in a fury.

Morty looked up at Rick, to find him gone. "Wha-" then he spotted him. He was hightailing it down the corridor. Morty watched him as Rick skidded into a turn, hopping on one foot, flailing his limbs, and slamming into the wall. None of which slowed him down as he disappeared around the corner.

"Wha-?" Morty stood staring down the corridor in shock. "Son of a-"

Laser gun blasts hitting the area around his feet made him jump, he bolted after Rick.

"Wait up!" He called as he turned the corner he crashed right into a cluster of aliens. They locked their weird tentacle hands around his arms.

Morty looked over to find Rick, pouting. He was being held by two aliens, with three more pointing laser guns at him. Rick looked 60% annoyed and 40% bored.

"Alright, alright, you got us! Now you run and we'll catch you." They aliens looked confused and exchanged puzzled glances.

"Why would we let you go? We just caught you. Why would we run from you? We have the weapons."

"Jeeeez! I forgot how vanilla you guys are."

"Vanilla?" One of the aliens asked.

"Flavor of Ice cream, frozen dairy, earth dessert." Another alien spoke.

"What is the significance of this 'vanilla'?" One of the aliens barked Rick.

A random alien started talking. "Other forms or synonyms of vanilla include: boring, dull, humdrum, uninteresting, drab, unexciting, lackluster-"

"Oh, my god. Just kill me already." Rick slumped, throwing his head back with a groan.

"It would be premature to kill you, we have orders to bring you to the supreme."

"Do you think we could do that before Morty dies of old age?"

"It would be much more likely that you would die first, due to your age and Heath habits."

"Wha*belch*aaat about 'em?" Rick said lazily.

"Well for one-"

"No, no, I don't actually care."

"Then why would you ask?" An alien asked from behind Morty.

Rick let out another groan.

"You have wasted enough time!"

"Me?" Rick scrunched his face up, offended.

"It is time to take you to the supreme!"

They dragged Ricks limp body all the way to the center of the ship which looked like a big round room with a weird chair in the middle. His face remained an annoyed grimace the whole way.

They stood both of them before the chair with the fat alien.

"Behold, the supreme!" The aliens cheered.

Rick rolled his eyes.

"You, Earth human known as Rick, are charged with destroying our home world and for this you will be put to death!"

Rick shrugged his shoulders. "Well, technically, I didn't destroy it."

"You created a black hole that sucked up our planet!" The supreme practically spat.

"Yeah, I did that."

"He has admitted his guilt! They shall be executed!"

Morty's eyes went wide.

"What do we do?"

Rick looked down at Morty with a grin. "Wait for it."

"Wha-"

A giant explosion happened somewhere on the ship, knocking everyone off balance. Rick straight up punched the alien holding him and snatched the gun out of his hands. He quickly shot the alien that was holding Morty and blue blood splattered all over him.

"Grab a gun, Morty!" Rick yelled while taking out a few more.

He obeyed and tightly clutched the gun.

"What now?"

"What do think?” Rick called over his shoulder. “Come on, let's get the hell off this wack ass ship!" 

Morty started shooting randomly and followed Rick as he bolted for the corridor that led to the hanger with the space car. Rick swung the laser gun back and forth shooting crazily.

"Take that you slimey ass motherfuckers!" Rick laughed insanely.

 

* * *

 

 

"What the hell, Rick!" Morty clenched his hand.

Rick looked over from the driver’s seat. "Awe, man, your mom is gonna kill me."

"I'M gonna kill you!" Morty screeched.

"Oh you'll be finee. Just put a Band-Aid on it." Rick said while pushing buttons in the dash.

"This isn't a Band-Aid kind of wound, Rick! There is a HOLE in my HAND!" Morty thrusted his hand into Rick's face, making him look at it.

His hand did indeed have a hole straight through it.

"Ok, ok, don't panic." Rick rolled his eyes.

"What if I lose my hand?" Morty's eyes began to widen.

"Goddammit."

"What if I have a hole in my hand forever? What if-"

Rick slapped Morty.

"Get ahold of yourself, Morty. Stop acting like a pussy."

Rick pushed a button on the dash and a little red light began to flash.

"Launching missiles," the car's computer voice said.

"Wait what?" Morty straightened up and looked out the back window. A missile shot out the back of the car and blasted towards the spaceship in the distance.

Three seconds later the spaceship exploded in an array of colors.

Morty stared at the explosion slack jawed.

"D-did you just-," Morty pointed a weak finger at the explosion and looked at Rick. "Did you just blow up an entire race?"

Rick took a sip from his flask and smiled.

"Ye*belch*aahhh," he looked at Morty. "I did that."


End file.
